An Insomniac’s Of Rhyming and Free Verse

It is quarter past one and I can’t sleep
Been awake for too long, this I can’t keep
I can’t get you out of my head
Been tossing and turning on this bed                     

Tried breathing and counting sheep
I dared and begged but you’re embedded to deep
Desperately trying to get you out of my mind
Am I obsessed or just plainly blind?

I hate you! I love you!
I don’t know anymore
Why are you doing this to me?
I want to sleep
Tried everything
But it’s useless
Sleeping is my only escape

I’m going crazy
I told myself it’s over
But why can’t I stop thinking of you?
I’m trying to move on
But it’s no use
It’s senseless
It’s endless
It goes in cycles
Please help me let go

Echoes

“Together we stand, divided we fall.”

I can still recall the time in class when some recited what they think of people who do everything in a group project, “Sipsip, makasarili, gahaman, etc.” or buttkisser, selfish, greedy and the like. Grabe naman. haha Not true. (insert sad face emoji)

You see, the thing is there might be no cooperation among members or some are “shy” and passive when asked what they want or if they have any suggestions and the deadline is getting nearer. Aaminin ko na natamaan ako sa sinabi nila. Pakiramdam ko tuloy na masama o mali yung ginagawa ko. However, some were able to pacify it by saying, “Masipag, matulungin, enthusiastic, etc.” or in other words - hardworking, helpful, enthusiastic and others.

People like me do it to avoid conflicts, who don’t want “unfinished business” and is willing to do everything if there’s no choice without letting the outside know what happened and achieve group success. Time is running out! Para lang walang away o tampuhan. Basta ang iniisip ko lang, matapos dapat kung anong dapat matapos. Andun parin yung spirit or sense of teamwork na walang laglagan kahit na ikaw na halos gumawa ng lahat. hehehe Just kidding.

Somehow, they are right. Somebody or more should encourage or inspire the team to work together. But if there’s no choice and the due is near, somebody must make a move. Lucky you for getting great members though.

Us

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
We’re just living a fantasy
Of galaxies and stardust

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
Not living an ending happily
Missing slippers made of glass

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
I scream to the world crazily
You are a must

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
We could have written our story
In dreamland, without a fuss

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
Our hands fit perfectly
But we let go so fast

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
Like a bee loves honey
From the first drop to the last

There’s no you and me
There’s no us
Maybe just maybe
Reverse equation equals plus

The Best We Never Had

All the things you said to me
That nothing would ever change
How come this is what I see
Both of us have become estranged

You have grown so cold
There’s no more warmth in your touch
The way your hands hold
Has been lately loose too much

The fire in your eyes
Are slowly running out
When will you realize
Who I only think about

I want to spend my lifetime with you
Spend forever and ever through
No one else could make me do
Make my dreams come true

But these are the words
I wish I could’ve said
Take flight like birds
Straight to your head

Now that you’re happy
In somebody else’s arms
That person sure is lucky
As a bracelet with charms

With these shattered dreams
Know that I wish you all the best
Stunning smile that gleams
Meeting you has made me blessed

The things we could’ve done
The words I never said
The love that could’ve begun
The best that we never had

Nightmare or Comedy

I ate dinner early, slept at past 5PM and woke up from my “nap” breathing heavily. Nightmares happen and tonight was truly “exceptional”. First part was me in a group practice in a beautiful dance studio with a friend (she was an amazingly great dancer in the dream, btw! Haha) and Ms. Cherie Gil as our dance instructor. Both got mad at me for being an “irresponsible newbie” without even “mastering” the steps before joining the group. All of us were wearing pink and lilac retro socks, fuzzy headbands, and skin-toned leotards! Then it shifted to a new scenario which was in our apartment. I’m living with a psychotic Lily Collins who apparently wants me behind bars, so she plans to frame me up with the murder she made to a janitor. She wailed to get my attention in the apartment and went out running with a key, locking me inside to call the authorities. I got an idea to double-lock the door so she can’t go inside and called for help. Once I got help, I told them what actually happened and Lily went on hiding. She’s a wanted killer and is guilty of the crime but that doesn’t stop her, she wants me killed and my life is in danger. But in the end, I hit her with a door, she fainted and was brought to jail. Then me and all of my loved ones had dinner. One of the dishes served is a giant squid with “animé” eyes. It was really creepy.